Friday. How is it feeling for you? Not gonna lie. I am a bit frazzled for a Friday. I had every intention of posting a Fixer Upper Takeaways post today. Have you read one of those posts before? When all is said and done, they take a good 9-10 hours to compose, brainstorm, curate and edit. It’s a process but one that I enjoy and love doing. Why am I mentioning this? Well to be blunt, it didn’t get done. I work on those posts throughout the week when I have time and last night ended up being bananas. In a round about way, I gave myself permission to exhale.
Here’s the thing, I think we all need a reality check sometime. A moment where we realize juggling it all is never really a skill we ever master nor is it one I hope to. See, if we are in a constant state of juggling a million balls in the air, what is our state of mind? Stressed? On edge? Worried we will drop something here or there? While many of my days do feel like that, that isn’t something I aspire to. I have become better and better at letting the balls drop and allowing them to fall where they may. At least from time to time.
Let me share a peek into a reality we as moms can all relate to. My husband was down for the count with a vicious cold and there is no question I am flirting with the same cold. No energy and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Yesterday was the only day of the week we only had one after school activity. Look, I am not an over scheduler but it seems even one sport and one play can throw the week into a calendar driven chaos. It’s just the reality these days. So I decided to let the kids skip the activity so my daughter could work on a report and so there was time for my parents to stop by and wish our daughter Happy Birthday. Good plan, right? After dinner I would finish my post, get the kids in bed and all would be well. Uh-huh. Or so I thought.
Visit with Grammy and Papa was short and sweet. Always so wonderful to have them be able to pop over. While here the neighbors knocked on the door to play with our son. Did I mention my husband is now on the sofa watching Penguins hockey. He can barely breathe with his cold and his ears must be plugged because, well, the hockey game is now on so loud I am sure the neighbors are able to hear the second by second commentary. It’s a bit much, just saying.
Not feeling well, I manage to throw together a relatively healthy dinner and feed the family. Success, right moms? By now my daughter is showering and reading her book report book while the boys are glued to the Penguins game. It’s now 7:20 and I am eyeing the finish line! The kids would be in bed in about an hour and the house would be quiet. It was time to sit down and get some work done.
“SPELLLING!”
“I FORGOT TO STUDY SPELLING!!!!!!!!!!”
Yep, yep he did. I had suggested studying spelling right after school but he was quite sure waiting until later was a grand idea. Feeling under the weather and just not up for the battle I didn’t push. To be honest it normally isn’t very time-consuming and I could learn a lesson or two about not micro-managing. Although he had missed school on Monday and missed the introduction to this weeks’ word list. No big deal though, right? WRONG.
Um. . . . . what in the world? Third grade, my friends. Third grade spelling sorts. Have you seen one lately? Look, I was a teacher. Normally I have this stuff in the bag. I stared at this damn spelling sort for over twenty minutes with my son. No joke. By now he is in tears as the fatigue of the day is taking over and his sweet little brain is in panic mode. How can I not sort these words? Seriously? It’s not that hard, people. Long /i/, short /i/, cvc, vc . . . you get the picture. It’s not rocket science and yet there was an entire group of words that seemed to fit into two categories.
From over on the sofa I hear my husband say, “Here, take my phone.” Sure enough he had googled the darn sort and came up with the five neatly typed category of words. Where was this 20 minutes ago? But I was so relieved. Let’s keep this spelling train moving. After all, my son still had to learn to spell them and sort them.
Well, apparently I had forgotten all about the open /i/ concept. Yep. That one left my brain back in third grade, I believe. That is where the long /i/ sound is created by opening the mouth as wide as you can. Like in the word “minus.” Darn you, open /i/. We continued to battle with these words for next 30 minutes and let’s just say it wasn’t a picture perfect study sesh. More tears, me losing my patience, you get the picture.
In the end we conquered those darn words and even ended on a high note with a cute silly way to remember the open /i/ sort. It was time to snuggle the kids and say prayers. While laying with my son before bed I knew in my heart I would not get my work done that night and that was perfectly fine. Reality check. While I am very driven and like to get things done, the day had taken on a life of its own and I needed to breathe deeply and rest with my son. Even if just for a few minutes. Then I needed to put on pajamas and call it a night.
I woke up thinking it was more important to share a bit of my reality than to pump out a decor post. In this world of social media and pretty pictures, it’s easy to think that things are a well oiled machine. Not the case. While the blog remains my happy place and outlet for the creative side of me, it also is quite time-consuming. So just know that when the posts are fewer and farther between it’s most likely due to nights like last night. Real life. Kids, dinners, family time, sports . . . and choosing to not to juggle it all.
Had to laugh at this as I’ve been complaining lately that I get asked where something is ALL THE TIME. I don’t know about you but I don’t have a tracking device on every uniform, sock and jacket in the house by my family thinks I do. I digress.
What about you? Are you good at letting something go every now and again? Letting yourself exhale rather than holding your breath while you keep it all going. Maybe we need to give ourselves to permission to drop the ball more intentionally. Not a concept we are used to hearing. But maybe in allowing ourselves to do so, we pick up a greater sense of freedom. A freedom to know that it doesn’t all have to get done. Some days it all falls into place and some days it’s more of a hot mess. A combination of the two keeps life interesting, don’t you think?!
To all the moms trying to juggle it all today . . . don’t be afraid to exhale and let something go. Everyone will survive.
More musings from my heart.
I have to laugh at this….I teach 4th grade and these “rules” are out of control. I ‘ve never taught a younger grade, so when these things appear for my kids, I constantly have to brush myself up on them. Ugh!
Thanks for sharing!
I enjoyed the post. I guess I am not alone!
Good post Courtney! Thanks for keeping it real! Have a great weekend!
Ditto on the “keeping it real comment”! It’s silly that we feel like we need permission to “let it go” sometimes; we all need “to let it go,” women and men. 🙂 Life is too short. Thanks for your excellent blog, Courtney. I always enjoy it. Keep up the great work (at your own pace)! 🙂 Your readers will be here.
I agree with Marybeth – I must say the older I get the better I’ve become at exhaling and keeping it real! If I’m tired, I take a nap – the grass will still be there in an hour…..
Sharing reality is as/or sometimes more helpful to your faithful readers – me included!
Love,
Grandma Sue
PS – Courtney, the have the best mentor for “letting it go”!
Really needed this! I think women can be so tough on other women, like ripping apart spelling mistakes on Facebook or in emails, we can be so tough on each other when in reality we are trying to do so much at once it is amazing we got a logical sentence! Or got a kids to practice or helped get the homework finished.
When my I arrive home at 7pm every night the last thing that I want to find is my daughter crying about presentation on geometric art that she wants done tomorrow (true story last night, we said it can wait there was no hard stop deadline and stopped the tears). I am beat and so is she, totally against homework every night (lol).
Hope you avoid the virus, horrible strain of the flu has been passing around our kids school.
Great real life post. Those spelling words can be tricky some weeks!
I’m a reader from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I’ve always wanted to ask… What is your husband’s Pittsburgh connection? I’m curious… did he grow up there, just always loved the teams?
Love reading your blog!
Yes! this so relates to our life with a 5th and 3rd grader….and crazy schedules. Take heart knowing that many of us have those days, too…and i have learned with my business that sometimes it is totally ok to give yourself permission to do less, disconnect more and spend time with those you love most 🙂 I needed that lesson after a very busy March for business and then taking two weeks off from work….it demonstrated for me that i need to live to love my family and not to work 🙂 XO
Thank you for keeping it real and sharing! I love decor and clothing ideas but really at the end of the day I think a lot of mom’s play the comparison game, the “why do i need to keep track of your crap” game and by all means, 3rd grade spelling is usually a tear fest. We all need grace and no guilt and knowing our kiddos are prayed over and tucked in bed by the end of the day. And a glass of wine after all of that, also helps 🙂
Such a great post and so very true!!!
I really appreciate your open and very honest post today. Sorry to hear you are not feeling well and life tends to be especially overwhelming during times like that. I loved it when your husband tried to offer a bit of help and support as well when he offered you to take his phone! ???? Bless both of you for being such wonderful, caring and very dedicated parents to your children. ????
First, I am sorry to hear you both are under the weather. Second, what is it with the “crap” they assign kids these days? Please dear Lord, let them be kids!!! And lastly, I am glad you pushed the post aside and allowed yourself a “time out”. I was the mom who thought she could “do it all”…I look back now and really wish I had taken more time to exhale and just be. I highly recommend two books for young moms-The Best Yes and Present Over Perfect. Both are very eye opening for moms. I just wish they had been written sooner!!!
Thank you for sharing. Your night sounds a lot like ours this week. We all do need to give ourselves a break. I appreciate your openness. It is so nice to know that we are not alone!
Hugs to you. I read your blog everyday. Had two sick kiddos home with me this week. I work full time. Moms don’t get time off. Glad you can postpone the things that are less important. No matter how much I love your fixer uppper posts 😉 we’ll still be here. Because we’re friends right!? 🙂
Grace, not Perfection is something I try to live by each day.
Some days, we get everything done and things run smoothly and on other days, there aren’t enough hours in a day! But we can allow ourselves this grace and take each day as it comes.
Thank you for always being such an inspiration to me x
A big fat YES and HUG to you on this Courtney!! Love you!
Gosh, Courtney, this came at the perfect time for me. As I’m sitting here taking a “break” to drink my coffee and read your post, my two toddlers are screaming at each other and asking me for some leftover Easter candy and a piggyback ride at 9 in the morning. And then milk gets spilled on the table I just cleaned…. It’s just so nice to hear that other moms just KNOW! They understand and everything is not always rainbows and sunshine. Motherhood is frustrating and hard work yet the biggest blessing God can give us. Thank you for expressing your reality because it is mine as well. I needed the reminder that I am not the only one.
Hi Courtney
I really enjoyed this post. It took me back to those days of raising my three (triplets). Some days just defy planning! You have the best attitude and I enjoy following you and your family. Your decor posts are always great and I appreciate them, perhaps even more after reading this last post. Thank You. Hope your husband is on the mend.
Oh my – I could have written the exact account of your evening almost word for word. Right down to the husband down for the count watching sports and the spelling sort. Believe me – I have gotten texts from classmates’ moms and texted them myself with trying to figure that out! And no, family – I do not know where every single thing is that you have misplaced. I so appreciate the dose of real life. I hope you avoided the illness and that you were able to exhale and just be.