What’s the one thing you hear everyone say all of the time? Life goes by too quickly. It’s all happening so fast. When did they grow up? Sound familiar? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and pondering, “Can we slow it down? Is that possible?”
Of course we can’t change the hours or minutes in a day, but can we change the way they feel? My husband and I have been talking about how much we miss our visits with my mom. I don’t want to glamorize those days. They were hard. Harder than we care to admit or express. Anyone traveling the Alzheimer’s path understands the depth to which is takes a toll. But, there was so much beauty in being in the moment. Mom was only in the moment.
Podcasts. I should probably carve out more time for them because I love them so much. Do you listen to Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday? She sat down withe Eckhart Tolle and it was riveting. At the end, when she asks her guests a series of rapid fire questions, she asked, “What are you most grateful for?”
Think about that for a moment. What are you most grateful for?
If you are like most people, including myself, you begin to list off your blessings. Loved ones, a warm home to live in, health, etc. And yes. I am abundantly grateful for all of that. But do you know what Eckhart Tolle’s answer was?
“I am grateful for . . . this very moment.” Powerful. Simple. Calming.
When I was in the throws of grieving for my dad and caring for mom, I really struggled with the anxiety. How do I be a good mom when I cry so much? How do I live with the guilt for all of the time I am not with my mom? This list was long so I took the advice of a friend and sat down with a counselor. I chose one who was also spiritual as the majority of my beliefs are rooted in my faith.
The biggest lesson he passed onto me was that multi-tasking is not a gift. It’s not what we are designed to do. It certainly isn’t doing God’s will. We are to be in the present moment. That is it. If we are cooking dinner, we are doing just that. If we are helping a child with homework, that is all we should be doing. If I am working, attend to that only.
It really gave me pause and changed my entire perspective. I used to think I was pretty bad-ass for getting a crazy amount of things accomplished and proud of the fact that I was managing it all in my head. Wrong. Really wrong. And you know what else? That way of life made the days rush by even faster. Rushing here, rushing there. Doing this while thinking about that. All of that flies in the face of being grateful for this very moment.
There are a plethora of advice books, self-help seminars, and podcasts out there. No shortage of people telling us we are doing it all wrong and that can seem so overwhelming, right? Like where do I begin? For me it was such a simple truth and one that I kept hearing. Be grateful for THIS moment. Attend to only THIS moment. It’s a practice, not a trait. Anyone can do it and it’s not complicated. It just take intention.
So maybe we can slow it down. Maybe we can turn the rush and the race into more meaningful moments. If we change the way the minutes FEEL than the cumulative effect might be a calmer, richer way to spend our time. Try it today. I will do the same. If you are driving, just be driving. Not texting, not planning. If you are talking with a friend, be there fully. While it’s something I have tried to do over the last few months, I still have to make the conscience decision to be grateful for THIS very moment.
Thank you for the great reminder to enjoy the journey, not just the destination. Sometimes I feel like I’m not a super mom/wife because I try to do less and slow down, but in the end I know I will be grateful for drinking in those moments and making those memories.
I often feel the same way. Especially when you look around and see so many doing so much. Cheers to drinking in the moment. Love how you said that.
Love this! So thought provoking for all of us who are “so busy” these days. I’m ready for a slow down. Not just as winter approaches but forever. My oldest is a freshman and I’ve never been one to dwell on missing the baby/toddler days…but more and more I’m realizing THESE are the days. I tell myself to not let any day go by without savoring each moment. Thank you for this.
Yes! These are the days. Isn’t that the truth, Melanie. I love that. Those high school days are going to fly, aren’t they?
I love this. I am SO guilty of measuring the success of my days by how much I’ve gotten done. Focusing too much on quantity, instead of quality. Always dreaming of the “someday” when things will be “easier” or when I’ll be able to enjoy it all more. Thank you for the reminder to slow it down and enjoy it today! I am always struck by the way you never lost sight of the beauty throughout your difficult journey with Alzheimers (not to mention losing your dad so suddenly). I wonder if you’ve ever thought about writing a book about your experience. While I’ve not personally traveled that particular journey (I have dear friends who have), I still feel like I’ve learned so much from your posts and have applied some of what I’ve learned to my own life struggles (nobody gets through this life without them!). Your heartfelt way of writing resonates with so many. And, I think you may even have the title nailed down (Love and Open Arms) 🙂
I totally agree! Not everyone is blessed with putting their thoughts to paper like you are. I appreciate you sharing your gift on this blog and would love to see more of the same.
Thank you, Sue. Sending you such big hugs.
You are so kind, Maryellen. Thank you for these words. I think we all get caught up in measuring a day by how much we get done. It’s part of what keeps up productive. Please tell your friends who are on the Alzheimer’s journey that I am always here. Reach out any time. We can’t get through it without support.
Love your words and thoughts today. Kind of stopped me in my tracks. Haven’t seen our college son in 2 months, and he’s coming home for a long weekend soon. I’m starting to prep for all.the.things. And this just made me step back and realize that things don’t need to be planned to perfection to have a wonderful weekend reconnecting & being in the moment. I’m really going to try for his sake and mine.
This made me so happy to read. Enjoy every single second of that visit. I hope it is a beautiful weekend.
Right message at right time – thank you! I’m going to be present to the moment as much as I can.
Love you. Meant to be today.
Well, as you know, I am older (78) and have more wisdom than when I was young. Living in the moment means appreciating the now. That is easy enough. However, considering the future is important because it is preparation that stems from now. Remembering the past contributes to the now with memories, happy or sad, for they guide you in today. It reminds me of a saying “Respect the Past, Honor the Present, Protect the Future.” They are all entwined, not to be separated, and each contribute toward the now. Some say all we have is the now, but we also have the past, and the future is part of our dreams. The goal is to give just the right amount of importance to each. The goal is balance. Sometimes the now is painful and then it is safe to retreat to memories. That is a coping mechanism. So, I conclude by saying balance the three and enjoy the life you are leading. And as for cooking dinner and thinking only of the dinner…I think of my mom making the same recipe and I think of the smell in my grandmother’s home preparing the same thing. It’s not exactly multitasking but it involves more than just the present moment. As I cook, I am grateful for my new frying pan and the view out my window. Even now, as I type, I am thinking of you as a little girl and visiting with your mom. This makes the moment richer.
Love this, Mariann. You say it all so eloquently. When I am in the moment, I am open to the beauty of all of it. . the memories, the hopes, the ideas. And love your reflection on the balance of it all. Wish we could meet for coffee. I know mom is smiling down on your beautiful family.
I love this Courtney. Such a great reflection for the weekend. One thing I started doing last month was writing down a few things I’m grateful for every day in my planner. At first I thought the practice was going to be repetitive or unimportant, but it has caused me to reflect on the little moments that I can capture from the day — the way my son’s hand felt in mine as I walked him into preschool, reading with my daughters on the couch, finally learning how to French braid my girls’ hair — just little things that add up to be the important stuff.
I actually teared up when I read, “finally learning how to French braid my girls’ hair.” That is the sweetest and there is so much truth to how those things are the true joy. I love this, Cara. And I love the idea of writing down your feelings of gratitude in your planner. What a wonderful idea.
I love this ! This is so beautifully written and full of so much truth and goodness.
I too value and practice living my life in the moment and not taking on more than I know I can handle. I have gotten through very difficult times and enjoyed wonderful times by simply staying in the moment and focusing only on what truly mattered most at that time. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings about this very important and meaningful topic. 💕
Oh I love hearing that, Jeri. That’s a beautiful way to live and I am learning the value in not taking on too much. Sounds like you have a wonderful perspective.
Thank you for this post! I can get so sidetracked while in the midst of something else so easily. Worrying about sending an important email for something while simultaneously cooking dinner. It’s not getting the email written for real, and it’s certainly pulling my attention away from an overcooked dinner. I was just reminded of an Oprah Winfrey quote yesterday, “Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.” Thank you for this nudge. Seems like forces around me this week are telling me to slow down and live in the now. 🙂
As I’ve grown older living in the moment is what I try to do, savor the little things…a sweet smile, a loving glance, a hearty laugh! Every morning I sit in my living room drinking coffee and look at the trees swaying out my window, watch the birds, the clouds in the sky, then say my prayers. It’s the best way to start my day. Loss is hard, Courtney, it changes you. The world isn’t perfect but there are so many blessings that surround us. Breath it all in, hold on to happy memories, and work hard to be whole. Love you….😘
Love you so much, Aunt Linda. What a truly beautiful way to begin your day. Your strength and your outlook are such an inspiration. Miss you.
Thank you for sharing that quote. I absolutely love that. So very true.
Oh how I love this post.
Thank you, Robin.
I love this post. I am always trying to simplify but I get so caught up in the busy with 3 teenagers. One thing I realized today was that I need to stop scrolling my phone so much. It’s making me more scattered and I’m missing the “now”. I just got Rebekah Lyons new book “Rhythms of Renewal” and I’m going to try and implement them. Thank you!
This makes me so happy. I am also guilty of scrolling too much. Really trying to attend to what is in front of me. And Jenny. . .with three teenagers you have a lot going on. You got this, mama. I will look into that book, too.
Thank you!
xo
Beautiful post … Thank you!
Thank you for reading.
So wonderful. You have a gift, Courtney, of putting things into such perspective. And when you share posts like these, it is extremely impactful! You actually make me stop and consider if I’m using my time and investing in my relationships as fully as I could be. I’m so grateful you share this gift with all of us!
I want to hug you. Thank you, Sara. So sweet. I need this reminder, too. It’s so easy to get swept away in the “busy” and the to-do list. Thank you for taking time out of your day to be here. Have a great week.
Thanks for the reminder Courtney.
I constantly need the reminder. xo
“ What are you grateful for, this very moment.” So powerful. Thank you for sharing this post. It really is something I want to start working on doing. I think sometimes we just need to be still!
It is a nice reminder for all of us. Not always easy to do but when I heard that I thought it was so powerful, too. Enjoy your week.
Well said. I have figured out that I’m not great at multi-tasking anyway! Whenever I try to do two things at the same time I don’t do a very good job at either one. So, I’ve learned it’s ok to say no to some things so I can focus on the one at the moment. Thanks for sharing.
It took me a long time to learn that. Too long! So good for you for letting that go. And you are absolutely right. Saying no is such a good idea if it allows you to be present.
This is really what it is all about. Thank you so much for the reminder.
Thank you, Breda. Have a wonderful day.
So good! And yes. I can relate so much but in a different way. I struggled with post-partum anxiety pretty bad and the one of the things that truly helped (I discovered a list of things that truly helped me overcome!) was being present. Truly present in the moment. It was fascinating to me that when I could do that, it was like everything else melted away. Yoga, time with friends, podcasts, Eckhart, meditation, prayer all helped tremendously too! As a recovering multi-tasker who moved very fast, my kids helped me slow down and see the beauty in even the smallest things! This is such a good reminder that all we have is now. So enjoy it. Thank you! Happy Sunday.
Thank you for your honesty. Yes!!! Yes to all of this. I so agree with your words, “When I could do that, it was like everything else melted away.” I know exactly what you mean. It’s so true that when we are able to REALLY be present, it’s like a weight is lifted off and the beauty of that experience is so much richer. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Beautiful post, and so touching. Being in the present moment and appreciating time with your parents are definitely things to keep in mind as I start, already, thinking about the Christmas holidays and planning.
Dee ~ Vanilla Papers
So thought-provoking and timely. Thank you for being a calming presence on social media.